I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize