If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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