I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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