Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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