totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
