i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We talked him into tasing himself.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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