Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
