my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
