New invention idea: vibrating tampons
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize