Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
