Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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