I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
