is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's like a pop up book from hell.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
