Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
