I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
