508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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