When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dear god my vagina.
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