just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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