I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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