Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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