awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
