I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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