I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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