So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
