Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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