Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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