When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sext me about skeletons
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
