Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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