And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
