some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
