his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
