i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
