Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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