Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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