so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
