I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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