If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
