All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
