If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
