if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wear drunk well.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
