if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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