i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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