She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize