Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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