Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
