Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
