Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
