Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
