Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
