we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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