All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
