it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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