he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize