Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
