at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
