I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize