I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
