I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
