Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize