Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
