I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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