I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize