If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
