he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Bring me that man meat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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