he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize