Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The uberlube is also flammable
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
